Friday, March 15, 2013

Proverbs 31 - Giving It a Try

I started reading a book earlier today titled My So Called Life As a Proverbs 31 Wife which I had seen on Pinterest.  I scanned the author's website and thought, "I've really got to read this book."  So, thanks to the digital world, it was immediately sent to my Kindle. 

I spent the next few hours reading, as my 3 year old kept insisting that I watch her do a ballet dance and asking me to throw a ball into a laundry basket filled with dirty clothes.  Sara Horn, the author, kept an account of her trying to be more like the Proverbs 31 wife.  She calls her Martha 31, after Martha Stewart, but trying to keep it close to the biblical context, added the 31 to her name.  She uses The Love Dare book to help guide her into becoming more like the wife in the scripture.  This book is not a "how to" book, but rather her account of what she went through during this time.  I now must do the same.

My husband has been on me lately about being "closer" (ladies, you know what I mean by "closer") to one another, and says that I don't appreciate him or show him that I appreciate him (he likes to be shown by being "closer").  We have a lot of moments when we just sit around watching TV or playing on our smart phones.  He's right, I don't show him how much he means to me and I'm definitely not the kind of wife that one would brag about.  Not that bragging is a good thing, but I have daughters that need someone to model for them what a wife is supposed to be...a biblical wife.  Not that our marriage is on the rocks or anything, it's far from that, but rather it's complacent.  Who wants to be complacent???  I sure don't.  I'm ready to rock my husband's world and take our relationship to greater heights.

My husband does sooooooooooo much around the house and with the kids.  He cooks, cleans, washes clothes, bathes the kids and gets them ready for bed, and the list goes on and on.  I've been extremely selfish, complacent, and a long list of other bad things that a biblical wife should not be.  I put my work before anything else, and I believe my family is suffering from this.  Not just my husband, but my children as well.  My relationship with God is also suffering. 

I wake up at 4 AM every morning and I balance the checkbook, pay bills, check out Pinterest, and drink my coffee before getting into the shower at around 5:45.  After I get out of the shower, I usually pick out Katie's clothes and gather all of our stuff that is needed for the day and set it all by the door.  I wake Eben up at 6:00.  He gets Katie dressed (not a pretty site...she is usually screaming and kicking because she doesn't want to go to school or she wants me to get her dressed), he starts my car and turns on the heater (even when it's 70 degrees outside, the heater is on 90...I can't breathe when I get in there), makes Katie's breakfast, and brings all of our stuff out to the car.  We're usually out the door no later than 6:35 and that's when I'm running late.  He kisses Katie as he buckles her up and he shuts the door.  He doesn't usually say anything to me.  I'm usually the one to say sarcastically, "I love you too, Babe." 

I've been getting home a little before him lately because I bring things home to work on rather than doing it all up at the school.  Plus, Katie has dance on Tuesdays and Thursdays which means that I get a few minutes of alone time before everyone comes home for the evening.  Lately he asks what we want for dinner and runs to the store to get it becaue I didn't go grocery shopping the weekend before or I forgot to thaw something out to cook.  We usually take turns cooking, but he's been doing it a lot lately.  I usually grade papers or work on lesson plans.  I may occassionally pick up the house, but it's been a pig pen lately.  He is usually the one to pick up. 

After we eat he gives the girls a bath.  We usually tag team getting them dressed, but for the most part, he tends to them.  After I eat, my eyelids are usually slowly but steadily beginning to droop.  I'm usually passed out by 8:30. 

I've always seen myself as a great wife and mother, but after reading Proverbs 31 and the book mentioned above, I am lacking in an extreme way since I've started my job.  My children are starting to act up from the lack of discipline (that's something he isn't very good at...he gives them multiple chances and usually caves in).  They've taken over our bed and he sleeps on the couch.  Katie isn't doing well in school and I'm a first grade teacher...crazy, right?  I'm seriously slacking on the most two important jobs that I have as a woman.  My husband and my children are supposed to come first.  Not my job.  My relationship with God has dwindled significantly.  Not that I don't believe in him or have the occassionaly one-sided conversation with him, but I'm not spending time with him in his word at all.  Sunday mornings are about it and even that hasn't been going as planned because I'm usually trying to get ready for the upcoming week and end up missing church entirely.

So, after being inspired by the scripture and the above mentioned book, I've decided to take on the challenge to be a Proverbs 31 wife.  I will be using The Love Dare book to give me inspiration as to how to repair my marriage.  I will be spending time in God's word to grow and nurture my relationship with him.  I believe that once I put God first and act according to his word then all else will fall into place.  Including my marriage, my children, and everything else.  I'm using this blog to chronicle my journey.  I can't promise that I'll post about it every day, but I'll do my best.  I want my girls to be able to read about this when they are older so that can see that I did the very best I could for them and our family.  Our family began with me and my husband and our relationship will improve our family's lives.

I found this on Pinterest, but it belongs to Wive's of Faith, which is the website that Sara Horn started.  My sister showed me this a few years ago when my relationship with my husband was on shaky ground.  When I saw this earlier this morning, I just new that this is what we've got to live by and I have to start applying it today.

My mission starts now.

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