Friday, March 15, 2013

Parenting Is The Toughest Job There Is

I have been going round and round with my two kiddos lately about picking up after themselves, following directions, etc.  I'm at my wits end.  I feel like throwing in the towel and saying, "Go ahead.  Knock eachother's teeth out over a Little Pet Shop toy.  Destroy this place.  I'm sick of cleaning it anyway." 

That's what I would say if I didn't love my children and am concerned with the women they will become when they grow up.  I want my girls to be good, hard-working, God fearing women.  It's my job to teach them this, but why is it so hard?  ::I just imagined myself rolling on the ground, kicking, and screaming...having an all out tantrum:::

The girls brought a ton of their toys into the living room this morning.  They had been playing with them all day.  I began cleaning and getting ready for my husband to come home.  I told them to clean up the living room.  I then went into the dining room to begin sweeping.  When I was done, I went back in the living room and they were still playing.  I told them again to clean up all of their toys out of the living room.  I then went to mop the dining room.  When I returned to the living room, they were both in Katie's room playing and all of the toys were still in the living room.  I got a bag and put all of the toys that were in the living room into the bag and put the bag on the top shelf of the closet.  Katie walks out and says, "I didn't want those toys anyway."  I replied with, "It's now time to clean up your room or the same thing is going to happen in there."  She said, "I don't like any of my toys.  You can get rid of them." 

My mouth literally fell to the floor and I could feel the blood begin to boil within my veins.  I turned around, walked outside, and immediately called my mom.  She had to call me back, so I did the dishes and prayed.  "Please dear Lord help me.  Show me what to do.  Tell me what to say."  My mom called back and said to have her choose her most prized toy(s), which would be The Littlest Pet Shop.  She said to tell her that since she doesn't care for the other toys, that we would be giving her very special toys to some very special kids that don't have any toys.  Kids that would take care of them. 

I didn't do it.  I came close, but I just couldn't do it.  So, right before her daddy pulled in the driveway I walked past her room and she was actually cleaning up.  I didn't say anything, just kept walking.  She came out a little later and said that her room was clean.  I went to check and the floor was picked up.  I told her that I was so proud of her for cleaning her room up like I had asked, but then I looked under her desk and her bed.  Toys were shoved under them.  I opened her toybox and dirty clothes were in there.  We had a talk yesterday about shoving our toys under our beds, so I know that she knew better.

I told her that all of the toys needed to be put away.  She immediately threw herself on the floor and started crying.  I had had enough.  Our town throws a festival during spring break every year.  We usually go 2 or 3 days and we spend one evening eating dinner there.  This was supposed to be the night we went.  She had been talking about it ever since she saw the rides being put together.  We can go outside in the evening and hear the rides, music, and people screaming.  I said right then, "We're not going to the festival tonight.  If you show me tomorrow that you are a big girl, and can follow directions and clean your room, then we'll talk about going."  It hurt me to tell her that, but I had to put my foot down.  We were all being punished, because we all wanted to go. 

She has been crying ever since.  Eben and Kinsley were heading out the door to go to the grocery store.  He asked Katie if she wanted to go and she said no.  He put Kinsley in the carseat and got into the driver's seat.  He started to back up, but Katie ran to the door because she had changed her mind.  He stopped and pulled forward and she threw herself down again.  She was screaming that he was leaving her.  He honked his horn and I opened the door for her to go.  She was crawling toward the door.  I told her to get up and go, but she just sat in a pile on the floor crying.  I asked her if she wanted to go and she shook her head no.  So, he left.  She started freaking out again. 

Once he left, she began to calm down somewhat.  She then came to me and told me that she was hungry.  I was snacking on peanut butter and crackers.  I told her that she could have some.  She threw herself down again.  I immediately picked up her, put her in her bed, and shut the door. 

She is now sitting quietly eating peanut butter and crackers. 

Dear Lord, please help me. 

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